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White Rabbits Duel on April Fools Day Rules in Pandemic

Post March Madness

Like Alice in Wonderland’s trip down the white rabbit hole, the world has changed. A great debate is being raged on the subject of whether April Fools should proceed as usual. Some fear the rabbit of Easter may not make an appearance either.

“Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if only I knew how to begin.” For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

Indeed, as CNN reports that the “White House prepares for US death toll from coronavirus to exceed 100,000” and the tone around the world grows darker, April Fools Day is full-on cancelled in Australia.

“Look, this is not the time for people to be announcing there is a disease infecting spaghetti trees causing already panicked people to rush out to supermarkets to try and buy more spaghetti from the already empty shelves,” said an unnamed spokesperson, on behalf of an unnamed spokesperson, on behalf of the [Australian] Prime Minister’s office.

“In that direction,” the Cat said, waving its right paw round, “lives a Hatter: and in that direction,” waving the other paw, “lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they’re both mad.”

According to Business Insider “billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates, Alibaba founder Jack Ma, former hedge fund manager George Soros, and Hong Kong’s richest man Li Ka-Shing have collectively pledged over $100 billion towards various efforts to help alleviate the coronavirus outbreak.”

That must have been an interesting group chat, with concerns of the poorest members of society losing their sense of humour, dissolving open society and grabbing pitchforks probably featuring top of the list.

The Thai Government has made April Fools jokes in relation to COVID-19 illegal “with a jail term of up to two years and/or fine of 40,000 baht” per the Bangkok Post.

“No, no!” said the Queen. “Sentence first—verdict afterwards.”

Piers Morgan is singing a different tune and appears to have been calling out the U.K.’s government response.

Google has reportedly stopped short of spreading April Fools jokes and stories in an effort to not appear tone deaf. Gone are Yanis Varoufakis’s possible threats to adopt Bitcoin for Greece.

Fintech Curve’s sense of humour when it noted in a prior Fools day its workforce of “engineers who previously worked at GCHQ, Israeli special forces 8200, ARM and the best Europe can offer”, is probably becoming less of a joke.

“Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

Although Philip van Doorn might have had a laugh with his title on MarketWatch with “Only one stock in the Dow rose during the first quarter — and it was up by only one penny”, Margaris notes the difficult times ahead.

For anyone wanting to desperately get away from the current reality could consider relocating to The Free Republic of Liberland, which is celebrating its 5th Anniversary on April 13. Although we are unsure of Amazon delivery to the micronation.

The Italians, as we are sure many will be, are planning to celebrate Easter remotely. But don’t count your Easter eggs just yet! In the U.K., the Beeb ran with the title of “Coronavirus: Easter egg crackdown over essential status ‘wrong'”, about how heavy-handed government officials were cracking down on the sweet stuff.

“Quite frankly, it sounds bonkers, this is a time when being excessively pedantic seems rather absurd.” said retail analyst Richard Hyman to the BBC.

Absurd and bonkers – sounds like 2020!

“Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in all my life!”

“If the mind is willing, the flesh could go on and on without many things.” – Sun Tzu

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